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In some cases these people see to be immune to the things that would send others to a doctor. Most however suffer from allergies and respiratory ailments.
Chronic Disposophobia is a self taught behavior based on what people think about and how they choose to act or respond to certain things.
This is a learned action just like drinking, smoking, gambling, etc. They learn to smoke, drink booze etc and they can unlearn provided they want to do so.
We can help your aunt but not you help her. That kind of help often tend to make thigs worse.
If she calls me and ask for our help and services she has better than an 90 percent to recover and stay that way for life providing she followes through.
have you ever gotten sick while doing the work? just wondering i tend to be type a clean freak so watching the hoarders show for me is like a horror film with my hands in front of my face. Has the this condition grown or am i just late in realizing this happens. I think my husbands family (sisters & brother) tend to do this behavior…hereditary?
Ron, I don’t save garbage bags, etc. I hang on to my only child’s clothing, the books, music, christmas ornaments, etc. I was fine until 1998 when I experienced severe trauma with my husband. It was a terribly abusive situation that got worse. I truly believe some conditions are inherited, but mine started after his implosion and the loss of my parents who lived in the home with me. I have videos and pictures of how it used to be. My daughter is 14 now and never had a play date due to the condition of the home, and the stress is getting worse because I’ve gotten ill. I never let it effect her outside the home as I kept her in classes, drive her almost 3.5 hours a day back and forth to school, but the dr wanted me to cut down now. I look around and think “how will I ever tackle this or move heavy boxes, etc.” If something happens to me, I do not want my daughter to remember this but it’s all she’s known. The courts allowed my husband back in the house after I got rid of him in 2000. He’s been living in my late parents apt in the house, but won’t help with a thing since he’s an alcoholic. I think most studies look at this as hereditary or some kind of compulsion, however, speaking from experience as a woman of a certain age, I never had a problem like this until all the trauma started. It got worse over time, and so did my illnesss ranging from cancer to now uncontrolled renal hypertension and some other diseases. I’m too embarrassed to ask for help from regular organizers as they charge $100/hr. I think your type of service might be more helpful since it involves a team approach – correct me if I’m wrong. I don’t like the idea of a woman coming in, sitting down and going over every piece of paper or magazine. I can do that myself, but it is an exhausting and draining project. The garage is filled and i was thinking of getting a PODS just to get some of this stuff out of here and into storage. Again, given the situation with my husband, he won’t lift a finger having caused all these issues. I’m scared I will die in this house amongst all this clutter. Another thing is that I’m very willing to give away the clothes and books to children who really need it. In some cases in our area, people go to tag sales or goodwill and then take the items and sell them on ebay which I don’t think is right. I want to make sure they go to worthy people.
My mother in law is in the hospital right now from falling in her disgustingly filthy ,overly collective, trash and infested house, she is 83, I don’t know where to start. help
I am a hoarder, I admit. I don’t have a problem giving away clothes, dishes or anything that is replaceable. I do however, have a major problem with paperwork. I hold onto court papers, pictures, files, educational books, topics from meetings and notes, my college papers and research,…..I have alot of kitchen appliances and can’t let go of tools or things that either fix or create something. My house is so cluttered that it is hard to move or get into or out of it. It causes a major problem in my social life and family life. I will not let anyone including my children come over because I am embarrassed. Also my physical health makes it difficult to walk at times, so how could I declutter if I can’t walk. I have no support system like friends or family. My son disowned me and my friends don’t want to hear anything. Is there a service in Buffalo, NY that could help me? Cleaning people can’t do it and will not deal with the clutter. Either will caseworkers. I get in trouble if anyone from Crisis Service comes over. I can’t tell you how many times they hospitalized me because of my clutter. We all know that this does not help a hoarder and the mess gets worse while in the hospital.
The bills pile up with the mail and the food rots away and then the bugs come. Where do I begin with swollen legs and a disorganized mind? I am alone and can not bring even a pet in with this clutter. I can’t work with this disorganization. Where do I begin? Is there a support group in my area for clutterers/hoarders?
The cost to be this way or the cost to recover from the situation?
The cost of abusing a home and others including the cost of rental of space is huge in time, money and grief. The cost to remedy the problem is in direct proportions to the problem. Small problem = Small Cotst BIG problem = Big cost.
your self talk is why you are the way you are. You alone are the center of your problem and you can get out of the mess you have made for your self providing you rach out to a qualified person and allow them to do what is necessary to give yoiu a fresh start.
The way you think is what has caused ALL of your issues.
Clutter Support groups are never going to help you. I use to run one in NYC for over 18 mos. They simply give people like you a place to go to see others in worse shape that you are in so you will become an “AT LEASTER”. At least I am not as bad as that girl is….
All of your contents issues are learned and yoiu can resolve them by allowing yourself and your daughter to get a new and better life.
Of course you are embarrased. They all are as they cant figure out how or why they get this way.
You are not in a position to fix it until you reach out and do the right thing. Go have a good look at http://www.thoughtmasters.com
No. Non of our staff has ever gotten sick or hurt on our projects over the last 15 years of the 30 I have been in business. The last injury was because one of my staf climbed a 30 foot ladder and did something stupid which caused him to break his wrist. We all wear respriators to protect our lungs and sutible clothing but not the space suits that scare the neighborhood and our clients.
Hello, I;m wondering if U know of any other organizations out there that help people that have a disabling illness & are very limited in bringing in income.
You see I am a disabled person I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrom (C.F.S.)
ADHA, a little bit of O.C.D., some Hoarding as a result Depression Very bad Allergies pain etc… .They refuse to give me disability!
I’m miserable I also have 2 children that I unfortunetly have influenced to this effect. My 16 yr. olds room mimmicks mine! She also hates being here! My husband has his own health aflictions I tries his best to work.
People judge so harshly. When you are slobbs & have too much you are labeled lazy.
I work day & night trying to conquer my uphill battles & get some kind of organization around here. (I’ve been sick for so long I’ve forgotten the little that I did know!)
My brain gets scrambled I get impatient get tired of feeling stupid & quit!
Not to mention I am too exausted to conquer the battle!
If we, my family & I could learn how to organize learn when it is time to go through things so it is managable to handle (Bring new in the front door push the old out the back) in other words not ecumilating to much to deal with at once. If I could learn a pattern to recognize the red flags as soon as they pop up! Not to wait in a lul state of mind till it’s too late & overwhelming in abundance to deal with!
My mind needs a mind sharpener it’s too dull to survive! ha! (but true)
When you have a neighbor who has hoarded items with LOTS of mold & reeks of a rotting carcass or dead smell ( and this guy ALSO runs saws at night, late night, and any day for hours!!!)–after the Pinellas County epa agency has been notified–more than twice…who else can I call & request that they drop by, dig, & open the packed house that carrys NO POWER that the man can’t even get into for no-telling-what is stored there!!!
Also, how long is it legal in Pinellas County to have a house without the power on???
Thanks for some advice.
I know you can’t tell me how much “help” will cost unless I give you money and pictures. However, the house is in the midwest and I’m wondering what range exists? If we are looking at many thousands of dollars you really aren’t an option so how can know if you are anywhere within a budget?
I know nothing can be done IF/ mydaughter is not interested…..However is there any place in Salisbury,Md where we can get help. I am so afraid the house may catch on fire. Nothing could be saved You can not walk or sit in her house and she does not see it.
You are clearly in more pain that your daughter. The issue is how and what these people think about. She thinks she is OK and you don’t. As the founder and president of DISASTER MASTERS, I can tell you that I have been in hundreds of homes and apts occupied by Clutterers who had fires and floods from no maintenance.
This is how I learned about this matter starting back in 1977.
The only and best people to call near this home would be the nearest fire department. Do it in person and via standard mail to document the issue.
Firemen never want to enter a cluttered house to remove victims as it is a death trap for them as well.
Jack: In some of my cases it has cost the Client hundreds of thousands of dollars and years of squandered time to get where they were when I first met them.
The cost of stinking thinking for a Disposophobic is ALWAYS more than the cost to recover from their disaster. Even after 30 years and thousands of recoveries across America I am still not smart enough to put a price on any project that I know nothing about.
Think of it this way.
Imagine that you or your spouse have just suffered a major car wreck and seriously injured. Now being a budget minded person you call the emergency room and want to know how much it will cost to fix your injuries. One more thing.
Maintenance is always an issue with any property. Either you pay for maintenance on the car, home etc or you pay the price down the road as depreciation or to play catch up. In almost all of our projects, when we do the math our fees for a recovery projects is far less than if they had simply paid the price for weekly maintenance.
The cost of a recovery project is directly proportional to the problem.
Small problem = Small Cost … BIG problem = BIG COST. Either way we have never heard any of our recovered clients tell us that our fees were too much to get a new life that was less stressful and no depression.
Disposaphobia… what a perfect name. I would not call myself a hoarder. My house is very cluttered with paper,clothes, books ,cd’s. Too much of everything and I just feel paralyzed by it. It is like I just can’t think my way out of it and yes there is anxiety. I have tried clutter coaches and clutter groups. No one ever follows through from beginning to end. I take one step forward and two steps back. I had breast cancer a couple years ago. That seemed to exacerbate my clutter problem. I have recovered from the breast cancer but do not seem to be able to get on top of getting stuff out of my house. . I really do think if I could get the help I need I might just be able to maintain it. When I was young and didn’t have many belongings things were pretty orderly. Having a family and living in the same house for many years changed that. I am ready to get help. I live in Seattle. Please tell me how to proceed… please and thanks. Sincerely, Cynthia Waller
Cynthia:
The facts are that you have learned to be the way you are and what you do in the same way smokers, drinkers, gamblers and even sex addicts have. It is the way you think. Simple. What is not simple is for you to fix you.
Your behavior is self induced and it can be changed but not by yourself. What you need is to UNLEARN the things you think about.
We teach and coach all of our volunteer clients who want a new life. When you realize that your methods are not working you must retain the services of a hard nosed professional who will not allow you to quit or fail in the middle of the process. You admitted that professional organizers don’t work and we know that very well. They don’t have the 30 years of experience we do nor the staff of experts who will create a new life for you in the recovery and restoration process. Call me at 1 800 THE PLAN and I will tell you exactlywha you must do to retain our services on a step by step basis.
Ron
my realy moms that there is none thing wrong with her house yet she has lots of paper n old food as well than sh e would blame me n my son for her mess al the time and than she didn’t like to cute the grass at all i did clean up the house but she got very mad at me and my son and at her sister as well
What is the difference between being a hoarder and just being a slob?? You watch these shows and some people have human lets say “poop” on the floor in their bathroom and garbage not stuff but garbage all over the place that to me is just being lazy and not throwing away garbage i understand hoarding and keeping stuff but not having garbage all over your house that is just gross!! Eating something and throwing it on the floor i just do not understand that!
I know a 82 year old woman that needs help cleaning up her property. I have called every agency I can think of to help her and no one has any answers. Her house is so full of stuff she can not even get in her house. She lives in her truck outside her house.
I know I need help, but I’m so afraid. MY son died almost 4 years ago, and I can’t seem to give up being here or getting rid of his clothes and all his things. Some have been stolen by people I trusted. He had collected autograph baseballs from when he was a child to give to his children, and they were taken, plus other things he had saved, he never ever sold them, even when he really needed the money. So I’m sure you understand my fear of letting him down again. I really don’t have much contact with his children, as it was a very hateful divorce, as she did not want him to have anything to do with his children, only wanted the child support. I am getting older now and I must get this done as I am still working, to be able to live here, as I can’t afford it on my S.S. So you see I need your help, both mentaly and physically.
I think my problem is with organization. I have a lot of files and a lot of papers I don’t know how to file. Often I file something and can’t find it later. Problems filing things too but papers are worse. I read some books on organizing but they have been worthless, mostly superficial. Any suggestions?
I am a daycare provider and one of my mommies has 2 beautiful young children, one of which has serious autism. She recently told me that her ex (who visits with the children on holidays) has filed for custody and is threatening her with CPS. I told her I would come over and help her straighten out her place and was shocked to see the conditions she lived in. The children literally have to climb from room to room. This apartment was not cleanable and she has only lived there for 3 months. She has admitted she needs help, and has allowed my husband and I to come help clear it out. We have removed 4 industrial sized dumpsters full of stuff out of her apartment and it is still way too cluttered. After we have left, she has called upset about things she can’t find and feels she needs. So I went there today to give more assistance with her there and also reassurance that she is doing the right thing by throwing things away and I can see that she went into the dumpsters and retrieved several items. As you said, there is always an excuse to keep things, and they rarely are logical. She has 10 vaccuum cleaners and over 100 pairs of shoes. I feel like my husband and I are putting a band aid on a broken arm. I am respectful of her feelings and care about this person and her children, but time is of the essence. She was served with custody request papers just days before. I believe her ex’s threat regarding CPS and know they may knock at any time. I can’t see any social worker deeming that apartment livable, and at the same time I can’t bear watching those two children ripped away from a mother that they so deeply love. )Yet I agree children should not live in that environment) I have watched your video twice and will do everything in my power to find her help she needs and “wants.” How fast can you help a hoarder who wants help? Do organizations like yours have any kind of pull with CPS or family courts? I want to ensure that any help she is getting is going to be acceptable by the courts standards as well. Mostly though I just want her and her children to be able to live.
I’m a letter carrier in the Miramar area in South Florida. I know of a family in my route that in my opinion have a hoarding problem; a few times they have left their front door wide open and OMG what a mess! Papers, clothing, paper cups, toys(they have two adopted young children, a girl and a boy) another words a complete mess and also including their front, sides and back yard. My question is do you have brouchures that you could mail to them( if posible without breaking any laws) if possible doing it anonimous. They are a wonderful family that adopted these two beautiful children and I think and believe they need someone or some organization to give them a push or to open their eyes to a cleaner and organized home.
my mom is a hoarder. im 13 and never had a friend over due to the clutter. she gets mad at me everytime i even mention cleaning…..i have to admit, though, she is not as bad as the photographs in the video. we do not have a great relationship because of her problem.my mom has recently tried cleaning….but she always gives up. i help and encourage her, but it never works…..is there anything i can say to her that will make her clean and keep it clean? thnx!
First, do you work in Texas? Second, what do you think about someone (me) who has been neat & organized all their life…then a series of events led to a deep depression that resulted in hoarding-like behavior. It was almost as if I could barely function for 4 years. As a result my house is a disaster. I have emerged slowly from this depression. I hired a kid to help me clean out my garage and it is a wonderful feeling. I am ashamed to let anyone in the house. It is mostly trash. I have no problem getting rid of it, I would love to get rid of it. Psychologically, I can’t see how I can do it by myself or even make a dent in it. So I do nothing. Every day I live with self-hatred over this issue. I would burn the place down if I had the nerve. I feel it is not hoarding, but just being lazy and mentally messed up for so long, I can’t even start on it. What services do you offer someone like me?
My brother has this problem.We,as a family, understand the need for”retraining”, but are immediately facing a housing dilemma.We cleared out and sold his 3BR house and need to know which would be better:a tiny studio [where one needs to be superorganized ,but with little room to amass stuff], or would a 1BR apt. be easier for him to handle as he learns new skills ?
My brother has this problem.We,as a family, understand the need for”retraining”, but are immediately facing a housing dilemma.We cleared out and sold his 3BR house and need to know which would be better:a tiny studio [where one needs to be superorganized ,but with little room to amass stuff], or would a 1BR apt. be easier for him to handle as he learns new skills ?
I’m dealing with perhaps a very unique situation. My sister and I co-own a Co-op in NYC. I now live in California but it has become clear to me she has become a compulsive shopper and hoarder. When I attempted a surprise visit last June, the door to her apartment could not be opened more than 1/3 of the way and bags of “things” covered the floor, sometimes several feeet high for the length of the room without even a path to walk. I could not enter or see the condition of the bathroom and bedroom so I assume similar conditions exist. I did not smell “organic” matter but there is a clear threat of fire.
I confronted her on this situation and she completely denied any problems and displayed great anger that I was spying on her.
I have been financially supporting her for several years since she has been underemployed but can no longer continue to maintain the level of assistance however, she will also not take any steps to address either the hoarding financial situation.
I did manage to take several pictures from the front door, but I don’t know how to proceed other than to either notify the fire department or some other drastic measure.
Do you link up with therapists to intervene in such situations?
I have sent you a personal message to call me and I will address the best way to deal with this problem which I see all the time.
Therapists and shrinks are the last place you want to start if you want to solve this problem. They will just make matter worse over time.
You have trained her to be this way due to your financial support and now like a scared dog she is gonna bite you when you try to take her food away. Call me and I will take care of your interests and hers.
My daughter (12 yrs) I believe is having a problem with hoarding. It started when I would throw out simple things like a pair of my 3 yr old slippers, and then find them under the bed. She keeps every package that her “toys” have come in. Obviously, I have gotten rid of alot that she has not noticed! I have told her that I MUST have a yardsale for some of her things (I mean from when she was 1-8 yrs old, and nothing sentimental…(I feel these things are precious myself). I explained that she could make some $ for new things… I simply do not have the space (single mom, blah,blah,blah…lol!) I am planning a yard sale when she is out of town with her father this summer, and have told her that she has until then to go through her things, and at least (I told her I want 4 – 5 boxes), or when she gets home, I will have made the decisions what stays. She said she will never speak to me again….don’t know what to do
I have a tendecy to over organize I know i want to keep like things to gether and try to the best I can but there are boxes every where and I go through it and try to weed things out but they can never seem to find a home and I just want to get rid of it I want a dumpster and a donation truck and just do it but the cost is too much. I want to do it but with 4 children it just never happens its to the point that to work a round the clutter is stressful. I have 2 in school and 2 in diapers. I want to keep their projects but everything is in boxes. I also so have a thing with lists. I make tons of lists and seem to spend so much time trying to make my plan that there is no time to do it. I get the basics done just enough laundry to make sure the family has clean clothes just enough dishes so I can cook , just enough counter space to get the food prepared just enough of all the house hold tasks to get through the day but I feel like I clean all day and nothings gets clean I get a little extra time to put in to one task like clearing the coffee table and by the next day its covered again. I get the laundry done but not enough space to put it away so it ends up stacked around the couch is piled up the play pen it full the bassent it full, the baskets are all filled All clean but because I have no where to put it thats where it stays. I have this need to keep things that I am covinced I will use like hand me downs with my 3 girls. I hate buying things again. so I hold one to them but they get bagged or boxed and stacked in a closet or corner and I can part with it. I move the clutter to clean the surface and then more clutter ends up back there I just move it and move it and move it but nothing ever finds a home” I find aspot for say meds and then I find a better spot and then a nother some times that item(meds ) become too big to store to gether there so they boxed and put upo because of the stafty for the kids. Having such a wide age range with the kids limits where I store things. The older kids have age appropriete toysa but the have to be stored up they have art supplies thay have to be stored up they have DvDs but they have to be put up. Then because it takes up the closets I can’t store what should be in closets (clothes) and the clothes are not unsafe for the younger ones the clothes end up within reach. I want out!!!
hello, I am becoming a hoarder,I watch some shows and it scares me,I collect cookbooks, love them, I also am into kitchen stuff from QVC. I have shopped on QVC for over 20 years, I love it, get things almost everday. Our garage is filled, my living room is filled, our inclosed paito is full, my computer room is filled with cookbooks along with other rooms My poor kitchen has things stacked up. where cn I get help? I am in Fort worth, Texas
thanks
linda
can I work for you? Do you have anyone working in SD. I love to organize, it is like my therapy. Well, let me know if I can work for your company. Thanks!! i am a recovered messy bessy!
My husband collects office chairs….i know that seems hilarious, but it is probably more of a desire to not let anything go to waste which someone else may use. A friend of his worked in an office that was closing the biz, so she offered him any office furn he wanted. The chairs “need to be fixed” and “I can fix it and it’s worth $250 or more”. My attic is filled with four chairs, he has 3 more in the garage; from different sources. Now he’s bringing home light fixtures…the florescent kind “that we can use” but I don’t need 8 of them! I don’t want any of this stuff in my house; and it will just sit in the floor of the garage and not be tended to. Our home is new, 3 yrs, and when we moved in I begged him to organize and get rid of stuff that was in storage (for 20 years). It became a huge argument and I couldn’t deal with that stress on top of the move and a new job. So I have two attic spaces FULL of “records” and organized clutter; but clutter that we don’t need that he brought from the storage unit.
The problem is this: we now have more space…so he doesn’t understand why he can’t use it to fill up with these bizarre items. He is self-employed, so I guess he thinks subconsciously he’ll have a home office with dated office items. I hate it….please help me to research the literature to tactfully tackle this.
No not now but the shrinks, psychotherapists and the rest of the medical community are all trying to get insurance companines to pay for therapy.
Therapy does not work for Disposophobics any more than it does for smokers, drinkers, gamblers etc. What works is when the Disposophobic wakes up and looks around and decides to live differently much like drunks who wake up talking to themselves that the booze is not working for them. Then they need a quality coach who has the experience to remove the clutter from between their eyeballs and on the horizontal surfaces of there abode.
Get hubby to call me on the phone at 1 800 THE PLAN and ask for my help. If he does I can coach him to a better life… If he does not want to speak to a 30 year veteran in recovering people just like him then you probably do not have a chance until he decides to get a new life. Sorry!.
Thanks for your offer. Each year we get thousands of calls from folk who like to organize and clean. Our business is about life transition management. Organize and clean is the Last thing we do and there are millions of people who know how to hang clothes in closets, straighten spice racks and sweep the floors. What is missing are people who have over 20 years of managing people whose lives are a mess and they don’t know how to fix themselves because they are so smart.
And how much does this kind of service cost?
Costs are always in exact proportion to the size and complexity of the problem.
The same as the rest of the world.
In some cases these people see to be immune to the things that would send others to a doctor. Most however suffer from allergies and respiratory ailments.
Chronic Disposophobia is a self taught behavior based on what people think about and how they choose to act or respond to certain things.
This is a learned action just like drinking, smoking, gambling, etc. They learn to smoke, drink booze etc and they can unlearn provided they want to do so.
We can help your aunt but not you help her. That kind of help often tend to make thigs worse.
If she calls me and ask for our help and services she has better than an 90 percent to recover and stay that way for life providing she followes through.
have you ever gotten sick while doing the work? just wondering i tend to be type a clean freak so watching the hoarders show for me is like a horror film with my hands in front of my face. Has the this condition grown or am i just late in realizing this happens. I think my husbands family (sisters & brother) tend to do this behavior…hereditary?
Ron, I don’t save garbage bags, etc. I hang on to my only child’s clothing, the books, music, christmas ornaments, etc. I was fine until 1998 when I experienced severe trauma with my husband. It was a terribly abusive situation that got worse. I truly believe some conditions are inherited, but mine started after his implosion and the loss of my parents who lived in the home with me. I have videos and pictures of how it used to be. My daughter is 14 now and never had a play date due to the condition of the home, and the stress is getting worse because I’ve gotten ill. I never let it effect her outside the home as I kept her in classes, drive her almost 3.5 hours a day back and forth to school, but the dr wanted me to cut down now. I look around and think “how will I ever tackle this or move heavy boxes, etc.” If something happens to me, I do not want my daughter to remember this but it’s all she’s known. The courts allowed my husband back in the house after I got rid of him in 2000. He’s been living in my late parents apt in the house, but won’t help with a thing since he’s an alcoholic. I think most studies look at this as hereditary or some kind of compulsion, however, speaking from experience as a woman of a certain age, I never had a problem like this until all the trauma started. It got worse over time, and so did my illnesss ranging from cancer to now uncontrolled renal hypertension and some other diseases. I’m too embarrassed to ask for help from regular organizers as they charge $100/hr. I think your type of service might be more helpful since it involves a team approach – correct me if I’m wrong. I don’t like the idea of a woman coming in, sitting down and going over every piece of paper or magazine. I can do that myself, but it is an exhausting and draining project. The garage is filled and i was thinking of getting a PODS just to get some of this stuff out of here and into storage. Again, given the situation with my husband, he won’t lift a finger having caused all these issues. I’m scared I will die in this house amongst all this clutter. Another thing is that I’m very willing to give away the clothes and books to children who really need it. In some cases in our area, people go to tag sales or goodwill and then take the items and sell them on ebay which I don’t think is right. I want to make sure they go to worthy people.
HOW MUCH DOES THIS SERVICE COST
My mother in law is in the hospital right now from falling in her disgustingly filthy ,overly collective, trash and infested house, she is 83, I don’t know where to start. help
I am a hoarder, I admit. I don’t have a problem giving away clothes, dishes or anything that is replaceable. I do however, have a major problem with paperwork. I hold onto court papers, pictures, files, educational books, topics from meetings and notes, my college papers and research,…..I have alot of kitchen appliances and can’t let go of tools or things that either fix or create something. My house is so cluttered that it is hard to move or get into or out of it. It causes a major problem in my social life and family life. I will not let anyone including my children come over because I am embarrassed. Also my physical health makes it difficult to walk at times, so how could I declutter if I can’t walk. I have no support system like friends or family. My son disowned me and my friends don’t want to hear anything. Is there a service in Buffalo, NY that could help me? Cleaning people can’t do it and will not deal with the clutter. Either will caseworkers. I get in trouble if anyone from Crisis Service comes over. I can’t tell you how many times they hospitalized me because of my clutter. We all know that this does not help a hoarder and the mess gets worse while in the hospital.
The bills pile up with the mail and the food rots away and then the bugs come. Where do I begin with swollen legs and a disorganized mind? I am alone and can not bring even a pet in with this clutter. I can’t work with this disorganization. Where do I begin? Is there a support group in my area for clutterers/hoarders?
The cost to be this way or the cost to recover from the situation?
The cost of abusing a home and others including the cost of rental of space is huge in time, money and grief. The cost to remedy the problem is in direct proportions to the problem. Small problem = Small Cotst BIG problem = Big cost.
Jennifer:
your self talk is why you are the way you are. You alone are the center of your problem and you can get out of the mess you have made for your self providing you rach out to a qualified person and allow them to do what is necessary to give yoiu a fresh start.
The way you think is what has caused ALL of your issues.
Clutter Support groups are never going to help you. I use to run one in NYC for over 18 mos. They simply give people like you a place to go to see others in worse shape that you are in so you will become an “AT LEASTER”. At least I am not as bad as that girl is….
Denise:
All of your contents issues are learned and yoiu can resolve them by allowing yourself and your daughter to get a new and better life.
Of course you are embarrased. They all are as they cant figure out how or why they get this way.
You are not in a position to fix it until you reach out and do the right thing. Go have a good look at http://www.thoughtmasters.com
Dear Dogs Before Men.
No. Non of our staff has ever gotten sick or hurt on our projects over the last 15 years of the 30 I have been in business. The last injury was because one of my staf climbed a 30 foot ladder and did something stupid which caused him to break his wrist. We all wear respriators to protect our lungs and sutible clothing but not the space suits that scare the neighborhood and our clients.
Many of these foks suffer chronic lung ailments from breathing the dust from their stuff. Mold mildew etc.
Hello, I;m wondering if U know of any other organizations out there that help people that have a disabling illness & are very limited in bringing in income.
You see I am a disabled person I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrom (C.F.S.)
ADHA, a little bit of O.C.D., some Hoarding as a result Depression Very bad Allergies pain etc… .They refuse to give me disability!
I’m miserable I also have 2 children that I unfortunetly have influenced to this effect. My 16 yr. olds room mimmicks mine! She also hates being here! My husband has his own health aflictions I tries his best to work.
People judge so harshly. When you are slobbs & have too much you are labeled lazy.
I work day & night trying to conquer my uphill battles & get some kind of organization around here. (I’ve been sick for so long I’ve forgotten the little that I did know!)
My brain gets scrambled I get impatient get tired of feeling stupid & quit!
Not to mention I am too exausted to conquer the battle!
If we, my family & I could learn how to organize learn when it is time to go through things so it is managable to handle (Bring new in the front door push the old out the back) in other words not ecumilating to much to deal with at once. If I could learn a pattern to recognize the red flags as soon as they pop up! Not to wait in a lul state of mind till it’s too late & overwhelming in abundance to deal with!
My mind needs a mind sharpener it’s too dull to survive! ha! (but true)
Can You help us?
**Lori**
When you have a neighbor who has hoarded items with LOTS of mold & reeks of a rotting carcass or dead smell ( and this guy ALSO runs saws at night, late night, and any day for hours!!!)–after the Pinellas County epa agency has been notified–more than twice…who else can I call & request that they drop by, dig, & open the packed house that carrys NO POWER that the man can’t even get into for no-telling-what is stored there!!!
Also, how long is it legal in Pinellas County to have a house without the power on???
Thanks for some advice.
How much does it cost for the people to come in to your house and help clean it and get the person help for their hoarding problem
I know you can’t tell me how much “help” will cost unless I give you money and pictures. However, the house is in the midwest and I’m wondering what range exists? If we are looking at many thousands of dollars you really aren’t an option so how can know if you are anywhere within a budget?
I know nothing can be done IF/ mydaughter is not interested…..However is there any place in Salisbury,Md where we can get help. I am so afraid the house may catch on fire. Nothing could be saved You can not walk or sit in her house and she does not see it.
You are clearly in more pain that your daughter. The issue is how and what these people think about. She thinks she is OK and you don’t. As the founder and president of DISASTER MASTERS, I can tell you that I have been in hundreds of homes and apts occupied by Clutterers who had fires and floods from no maintenance.
This is how I learned about this matter starting back in 1977.
The only and best people to call near this home would be the nearest fire department. Do it in person and via standard mail to document the issue.
Firemen never want to enter a cluttered house to remove victims as it is a death trap for them as well.
Jack: In some of my cases it has cost the Client hundreds of thousands of dollars and years of squandered time to get where they were when I first met them.
The cost of stinking thinking for a Disposophobic is ALWAYS more than the cost to recover from their disaster. Even after 30 years and thousands of recoveries across America I am still not smart enough to put a price on any project that I know nothing about.
Think of it this way.
Imagine that you or your spouse have just suffered a major car wreck and seriously injured. Now being a budget minded person you call the emergency room and want to know how much it will cost to fix your injuries. One more thing.
Maintenance is always an issue with any property. Either you pay for maintenance on the car, home etc or you pay the price down the road as depreciation or to play catch up. In almost all of our projects, when we do the math our fees for a recovery projects is far less than if they had simply paid the price for weekly maintenance.
The cost of a recovery project is directly proportional to the problem.
Small problem = Small Cost … BIG problem = BIG COST. Either way we have never heard any of our recovered clients tell us that our fees were too much to get a new life that was less stressful and no depression.
Disposaphobia… what a perfect name. I would not call myself a hoarder. My house is very cluttered with paper,clothes, books ,cd’s. Too much of everything and I just feel paralyzed by it. It is like I just can’t think my way out of it and yes there is anxiety. I have tried clutter coaches and clutter groups. No one ever follows through from beginning to end. I take one step forward and two steps back. I had breast cancer a couple years ago. That seemed to exacerbate my clutter problem. I have recovered from the breast cancer but do not seem to be able to get on top of getting stuff out of my house. . I really do think if I could get the help I need I might just be able to maintain it. When I was young and didn’t have many belongings things were pretty orderly. Having a family and living in the same house for many years changed that. I am ready to get help. I live in Seattle. Please tell me how to proceed… please and thanks. Sincerely, Cynthia Waller
Cynthia:
The facts are that you have learned to be the way you are and what you do in the same way smokers, drinkers, gamblers and even sex addicts have. It is the way you think. Simple. What is not simple is for you to fix you.
Your behavior is self induced and it can be changed but not by yourself. What you need is to UNLEARN the things you think about.
We teach and coach all of our volunteer clients who want a new life. When you realize that your methods are not working you must retain the services of a hard nosed professional who will not allow you to quit or fail in the middle of the process. You admitted that professional organizers don’t work and we know that very well. They don’t have the 30 years of experience we do nor the staff of experts who will create a new life for you in the recovery and restoration process. Call me at 1 800 THE PLAN and I will tell you exactlywha you must do to retain our services on a step by step basis.
Ron
my realy moms that there is none thing wrong with her house yet she has lots of paper n old food as well than sh e would blame me n my son for her mess al the time and than she didn’t like to cute the grass at all i did clean up the house but she got very mad at me and my son and at her sister as well
Thanks for your post. I wonder what your question is or what you want us to do.
What is the difference between being a hoarder and just being a slob?? You watch these shows and some people have human lets say “poop” on the floor in their bathroom and garbage not stuff but garbage all over the place that to me is just being lazy and not throwing away garbage i understand hoarding and keeping stuff but not having garbage all over your house that is just gross!! Eating something and throwing it on the floor i just do not understand that!
I know a 82 year old woman that needs help cleaning up her property. I have called every agency I can think of to help her and no one has any answers. Her house is so full of stuff she can not even get in her house. She lives in her truck outside her house.
I know I need help, but I’m so afraid. MY son died almost 4 years ago, and I can’t seem to give up being here or getting rid of his clothes and all his things. Some have been stolen by people I trusted. He had collected autograph baseballs from when he was a child to give to his children, and they were taken, plus other things he had saved, he never ever sold them, even when he really needed the money. So I’m sure you understand my fear of letting him down again. I really don’t have much contact with his children, as it was a very hateful divorce, as she did not want him to have anything to do with his children, only wanted the child support. I am getting older now and I must get this done as I am still working, to be able to live here, as I can’t afford it on my S.S. So you see I need your help, both mentaly and physically.
I think my problem is with organization. I have a lot of files and a lot of papers I don’t know how to file. Often I file something and can’t find it later. Problems filing things too but papers are worse. I read some books on organizing but they have been worthless, mostly superficial. Any suggestions?
I am a daycare provider and one of my mommies has 2 beautiful young children, one of which has serious autism. She recently told me that her ex (who visits with the children on holidays) has filed for custody and is threatening her with CPS. I told her I would come over and help her straighten out her place and was shocked to see the conditions she lived in. The children literally have to climb from room to room. This apartment was not cleanable and she has only lived there for 3 months. She has admitted she needs help, and has allowed my husband and I to come help clear it out. We have removed 4 industrial sized dumpsters full of stuff out of her apartment and it is still way too cluttered. After we have left, she has called upset about things she can’t find and feels she needs. So I went there today to give more assistance with her there and also reassurance that she is doing the right thing by throwing things away and I can see that she went into the dumpsters and retrieved several items. As you said, there is always an excuse to keep things, and they rarely are logical. She has 10 vaccuum cleaners and over 100 pairs of shoes. I feel like my husband and I are putting a band aid on a broken arm. I am respectful of her feelings and care about this person and her children, but time is of the essence. She was served with custody request papers just days before. I believe her ex’s threat regarding CPS and know they may knock at any time. I can’t see any social worker deeming that apartment livable, and at the same time I can’t bear watching those two children ripped away from a mother that they so deeply love. )Yet I agree children should not live in that environment) I have watched your video twice and will do everything in my power to find her help she needs and “wants.” How fast can you help a hoarder who wants help? Do organizations like yours have any kind of pull with CPS or family courts? I want to ensure that any help she is getting is going to be acceptable by the courts standards as well. Mostly though I just want her and her children to be able to live.
I’m a letter carrier in the Miramar area in South Florida. I know of a family in my route that in my opinion have a hoarding problem; a few times they have left their front door wide open and OMG what a mess! Papers, clothing, paper cups, toys(they have two adopted young children, a girl and a boy) another words a complete mess and also including their front, sides and back yard. My question is do you have brouchures that you could mail to them( if posible without breaking any laws) if possible doing it anonimous. They are a wonderful family that adopted these two beautiful children and I think and believe they need someone or some organization to give them a push or to open their eyes to a cleaner and organized home.
my mom is a hoarder. im 13 and never had a friend over due to the clutter. she gets mad at me everytime i even mention cleaning…..i have to admit, though, she is not as bad as the photographs in the video. we do not have a great relationship because of her problem.my mom has recently tried cleaning….but she always gives up. i help and encourage her, but it never works…..is there anything i can say to her that will make her clean and keep it clean? thnx!
tboxkjld…
tboxkjld…
I have a friend and several relatives I believe are hoarders.What is the best way to be suportive but not enabling of this behavior?
First, do you work in Texas? Second, what do you think about someone (me) who has been neat & organized all their life…then a series of events led to a deep depression that resulted in hoarding-like behavior. It was almost as if I could barely function for 4 years. As a result my house is a disaster. I have emerged slowly from this depression. I hired a kid to help me clean out my garage and it is a wonderful feeling. I am ashamed to let anyone in the house. It is mostly trash. I have no problem getting rid of it, I would love to get rid of it. Psychologically, I can’t see how I can do it by myself or even make a dent in it. So I do nothing. Every day I live with self-hatred over this issue. I would burn the place down if I had the nerve. I feel it is not hoarding, but just being lazy and mentally messed up for so long, I can’t even start on it. What services do you offer someone like me?
My brother has this problem.We,as a family, understand the need for”retraining”, but are immediately facing a housing dilemma.We cleared out and sold his 3BR house and need to know which would be better:a tiny studio [where one needs to be superorganized ,but with little room to amass stuff], or would a 1BR apt. be easier for him to handle as he learns new skills ?
NEW QUESTION
My brother has this problem.We,as a family, understand the need for”retraining”, but are immediately facing a housing dilemma.We cleared out and sold his 3BR house and need to know which would be better:a tiny studio [where one needs to be superorganized ,but with little room to amass stuff], or would a 1BR apt. be easier for him to handle as he learns new skills ?
I’m dealing with perhaps a very unique situation. My sister and I co-own a Co-op in NYC. I now live in California but it has become clear to me she has become a compulsive shopper and hoarder. When I attempted a surprise visit last June, the door to her apartment could not be opened more than 1/3 of the way and bags of “things” covered the floor, sometimes several feeet high for the length of the room without even a path to walk. I could not enter or see the condition of the bathroom and bedroom so I assume similar conditions exist. I did not smell “organic” matter but there is a clear threat of fire.
I confronted her on this situation and she completely denied any problems and displayed great anger that I was spying on her.
I have been financially supporting her for several years since she has been underemployed but can no longer continue to maintain the level of assistance however, she will also not take any steps to address either the hoarding financial situation.
I did manage to take several pictures from the front door, but I don’t know how to proceed other than to either notify the fire department or some other drastic measure.
Do you link up with therapists to intervene in such situations?
I have sent you a personal message to call me and I will address the best way to deal with this problem which I see all the time.
Therapists and shrinks are the last place you want to start if you want to solve this problem. They will just make matter worse over time.
You have trained her to be this way due to your financial support and now like a scared dog she is gonna bite you when you try to take her food away. Call me and I will take care of your interests and hers.
Ron
My daughter (12 yrs) I believe is having a problem with hoarding. It started when I would throw out simple things like a pair of my 3 yr old slippers, and then find them under the bed. She keeps every package that her “toys” have come in. Obviously, I have gotten rid of alot that she has not noticed! I have told her that I MUST have a yardsale for some of her things (I mean from when she was 1-8 yrs old, and nothing sentimental…(I feel these things are precious myself). I explained that she could make some $ for new things… I simply do not have the space (single mom, blah,blah,blah…lol!) I am planning a yard sale when she is out of town with her father this summer, and have told her that she has until then to go through her things, and at least (I told her I want 4 – 5 boxes), or when she gets home, I will have made the decisions what stays. She said she will never speak to me again….don’t know what to do
I have a tendecy to over organize I know i want to keep like things to gether and try to the best I can but there are boxes every where and I go through it and try to weed things out but they can never seem to find a home and I just want to get rid of it I want a dumpster and a donation truck and just do it but the cost is too much. I want to do it but with 4 children it just never happens its to the point that to work a round the clutter is stressful. I have 2 in school and 2 in diapers. I want to keep their projects but everything is in boxes. I also so have a thing with lists. I make tons of lists and seem to spend so much time trying to make my plan that there is no time to do it. I get the basics done just enough laundry to make sure the family has clean clothes just enough dishes so I can cook , just enough counter space to get the food prepared just enough of all the house hold tasks to get through the day but I feel like I clean all day and nothings gets clean I get a little extra time to put in to one task like clearing the coffee table and by the next day its covered again. I get the laundry done but not enough space to put it away so it ends up stacked around the couch is piled up the play pen it full the bassent it full, the baskets are all filled All clean but because I have no where to put it thats where it stays. I have this need to keep things that I am covinced I will use like hand me downs with my 3 girls. I hate buying things again. so I hold one to them but they get bagged or boxed and stacked in a closet or corner and I can part with it. I move the clutter to clean the surface and then more clutter ends up back there I just move it and move it and move it but nothing ever finds a home” I find aspot for say meds and then I find a better spot and then a nother some times that item(meds ) become too big to store to gether there so they boxed and put upo because of the stafty for the kids. Having such a wide age range with the kids limits where I store things. The older kids have age appropriete toysa but the have to be stored up they have art supplies thay have to be stored up they have DvDs but they have to be put up. Then because it takes up the closets I can’t store what should be in closets (clothes) and the clothes are not unsafe for the younger ones the clothes end up within reach. I want out!!!
Is there any insurance coverage for your services or is it all out of the client’s pocket?
hello, I am becoming a hoarder,I watch some shows and it scares me,I collect cookbooks, love them, I also am into kitchen stuff from QVC. I have shopped on QVC for over 20 years, I love it, get things almost everday. Our garage is filled, my living room is filled, our inclosed paito is full, my computer room is filled with cookbooks along with other rooms My poor kitchen has things stacked up. where cn I get help? I am in Fort worth, Texas
thanks
linda
can I work for you? Do you have anyone working in SD. I love to organize, it is like my therapy. Well, let me know if I can work for your company. Thanks!! i am a recovered messy bessy!
My husband collects office chairs….i know that seems hilarious, but it is probably more of a desire to not let anything go to waste which someone else may use. A friend of his worked in an office that was closing the biz, so she offered him any office furn he wanted. The chairs “need to be fixed” and “I can fix it and it’s worth $250 or more”. My attic is filled with four chairs, he has 3 more in the garage; from different sources. Now he’s bringing home light fixtures…the florescent kind “that we can use” but I don’t need 8 of them! I don’t want any of this stuff in my house; and it will just sit in the floor of the garage and not be tended to. Our home is new, 3 yrs, and when we moved in I begged him to organize and get rid of stuff that was in storage (for 20 years). It became a huge argument and I couldn’t deal with that stress on top of the move and a new job. So I have two attic spaces FULL of “records” and organized clutter; but clutter that we don’t need that he brought from the storage unit.
The problem is this: we now have more space…so he doesn’t understand why he can’t use it to fill up with these bizarre items. He is self-employed, so I guess he thinks subconsciously he’ll have a home office with dated office items. I hate it….please help me to research the literature to tactfully tackle this.
No not now but the shrinks, psychotherapists and the rest of the medical community are all trying to get insurance companines to pay for therapy.
Therapy does not work for Disposophobics any more than it does for smokers, drinkers, gamblers etc. What works is when the Disposophobic wakes up and looks around and decides to live differently much like drunks who wake up talking to themselves that the booze is not working for them. Then they need a quality coach who has the experience to remove the clutter from between their eyeballs and on the horizontal surfaces of there abode.
Get hubby to call me on the phone at 1 800 THE PLAN and ask for my help. If he does I can coach him to a better life… If he does not want to speak to a 30 year veteran in recovering people just like him then you probably do not have a chance until he decides to get a new life. Sorry!.
Thanks for your offer. Each year we get thousands of calls from folk who like to organize and clean. Our business is about life transition management. Organize and clean is the Last thing we do and there are millions of people who know how to hang clothes in closets, straighten spice racks and sweep the floors. What is missing are people who have over 20 years of managing people whose lives are a mess and they don’t know how to fix themselves because they are so smart.